After listening to the 7-year-old bemoan her horrible, wicked life this morning, I offered to trade places with her.
"Trade places?" she questioned, puzzled.
"Yeah, you know, I'll deal with your problems for a while and you deal with mine."
"Be serious, mom," she scolded, "my problems, are like, REAL."
Since I have run out of sympathy for my children's perceived injustices, I've compiled the following list of the things that are apparently ruining their lives. As soon as I find my magic wand I'm going to swap some of my troubles for some of theirs:
The 9 year old
Problem #1: Being in the same state as his sister
Problem #2: Wheat bread (scary, I know)
Problem #3: The daily email I receive showing all his grades and assignments
The 7 year old (where to begin)
Problem #1: Making her bed every morning ("my arms get soooo tired")
Problem #2: Having soooo many brothers (3)
Problem #3: Having to clear her dishes after meals ("like every day, mom?")
Problem #4: Not having earrings to match her socks (or socks to match her earrings)
Problem #5: "Why do you make me read every single day?"
The 4 year old
Problem #1: Having to turn the TV off anytime during waking hours
Problem #2: Being gullible and having older siblings who could be top sellers in any MLM organization ("Mom ALWAYS lets us eat roly polies. They're good for you.")
Problem #3: Any foods other than macaroni and cheese.
The 6 week old
Problem #1: Being awake
Problem #2: Being awake and not eating
Problem #3: Being awake and not being held
Problem #4: Being in the same room with the 4 year old (hazardous)
So you can see how the children do suffer. Their existence is precarious from moment to moment, and we're not at all sure whether they will make it or not. So I just have one message for my fearsome foursome---Take courage, my little ones----one day you'll grow up and all of your problems will, too. !
3 comments:
Yep!! I'm laughing out loud now!! Oh to be a kid again!
Hey--my blog is updated with our "blue" news! You were part of the friend text, but I don't even know if you text, so I'm sorry you didn't get the news. You will have to give me all the ins and outs of this boys stuff!
Thanks for the laugh. And for some reason I thought the 7 year old wouldn't have real problems, but boy, that's some tough stuff to deal with. :) Her #1 is my favorite.
Now for your problems...
As I read this post I started to think you were writing about my kids!! You are seriously so funny. Good thing your kids are SO cute, it makes their problems easier to deal with!
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