Friday, November 14, 2008

Mall Rats

Some of you may already be aware of this----secretly, my life's ambition is to be a full time mall rat. I want to shop shop shop, finding the best deals around and rotating my meals through the myriad offerings of the food court. However, some of you may have noticed that I am usually accompanied by an entourage of short people calling me "mom". My entourage is not usually mall-friendly. They are usually averse to anything not revolving around them. They have no time for picking over clothing racks and strolling from store to store. They want action---Kung Fu Panda action, if you know what I mean.

But tonight that all changed. With Rich in Washington, the three short people and I headed to University Mall for a night on the town. I could feel the adrenaline kick in as I deftly maneuvered a pristine parking place near the mall entrance. With my mother's death-like grip holding onto two of the little ones and the other one gamely trudging behind me, we entered my beautiful, sparkly world of bling. First things first--we headed straight to the food court. The little ones were drooling over the choices, and having the high standards that they do, they quickly decided on TACO BELL, which would have been my choice too if I were allowed to make choices in their presence. After feasting on nachos and tacos (and of course taking both C and G to the bathroom) we headed out to do a little shopping. The kids were amazing! I'm serious! We wove in and out of stores, up and down the mall, with nary a complaint. I graciously bestowed some of my vast mall knowledge, showing them how to head straight to the back-of-the-store clearance racks. We stopped at See's Candies for a free sample and made the whopping purchase of 4 vanilla suckers. I gave them each a quarter (hey, big spender!) which they deposited in a gumball machine and loved watching the gumball descend its roller coaster-like track. They took their time examining merchandise (Garrett--The Disney Store, Cassidy--Bed, Bath and Bubbles or whatever, Ben--Gamestop) and told me exactly what they want for Christmas. They asked questions about all the weird teenagers there(Mom, why is her hair like that? Moooooom,He had an earing in his nose!Moooom, I have to go to the bathroom again.)

To sum it up, we had such a fab time at Kelly's Happiest Place on Earth. I just might do it again! And next time my friends will be ready for lesson number two: Strategic Mall Planning: How and when to use your Mall FAST PASS to get the most out of your shopping expedition. I can't wait!


P.S. Any other Mall Rats out there? I know its taboo and worldy and all that, but the first step in recovery is admitting your skill (I mean problem) right?

3 comments:

Darren Draper said...

Again, you made my day with a post. How I love to read your prose.

I actually love to shop. My shopping, however, has been put on like a 12 year (and counting) hiatus. Someday. And hook me up with the fast pass, would ya...

Angee said...

Obviously I forgot to log in correctly on that last comment. That would be me, Angee, not my handsome husband that likes to shop...

Heather said...

I had no idea you loved to shop so much! Of course, I should have guessed because you always look so great, and your house is awesomely decorated, and your kids always look perfect....